Every one worries. There’s a lot happening in the world that no one is certain about. Worry has changed over the years. Problems seem bigger and the outcome seems harder to achieve. As a child progresses through school, the problems become more difficult. In North Carolina, students worry about EOGs.  Students hear a lot about the EOGs, practice daily for them, and are under stress to pass them. Parents of young people and older students need to prepare themselves for the stress and worry the test causes as much as passing the test itself. The test is not the only cause of worry for young people. There are family problems, bully problems, and general problems to face. There are three steps that can be taken to address stress causes problems for all ages. Parents can initiate this process to help younger children, and the older children will have a standard by which they can judge their problems and alleviate them.

Follow up:

1.    Figure it out. Only the person affected by the problem will know the true cause of the problem and will understand the consequences of the problem. Most of the time, the worrier will know what the problem is. Other times that person will have an uneasy feeling but cannot define it. Especially young people have a hard time verbalizing their feelings and need help in identifying it. Young people worry about their teachers, their classmates, and friends. Are they liked? Does the teacher seem mean? Other problems like family problems are hard to understand whether the child is a first grader or a tenth grader. But one thing must be done. Action must be taken on the part of the parent and on the part of the student. If the student isn’t able to verbalize his worry, he’s going to need help from parents and/or a counselor.

2.    Think of ways to make it better. Sitting and worrying doesn’t solve problems. The student must go to action mode. If the student is older, he needs to ask himself questions. Why is this problem so important to me? What does the problem mean to me? How shall I prepare to solve the problem? Have I tried different ways to solve the problem? Sometimes it really helps if the student writes down the answers to these questions so he can actually see what he is confronting. After answering the questions, the student should have a list of possible actions and be able to put himself back on track. If none of these solve the problem, then it is time for the student to ask for help.

3.    Ask for help. Everyone needs someone to talk to. The student may think no one wants to help him or can help him, but he doesn’t know for sure until he asks. The simple act of telling someone relieves anxiety. The student is no longer alone with the problem. Who to ask? A best friend, parents, brother, sister, or counselor are all good choices. Now they will be aware of the problem and will help in solving it.

The younger child will need help to work through the steps given above. Parents or counselors must spend time with the young one. They will need to help him verbalize his problem before prescribing actions to take.

Remember – It is not a bad thing to worry. Worry causes us to study for a test, allows us to be good friends and help others, and often keeps us healthy. Think about what causes worries and work toward solving that problem.