I spent the morning tethered to my computer, fascinated with reader blogs and followup press coverage of the controversial basketball game between Covenant School and Dallas Academy. My instincts told me there was going to be more to this story than initially reported and I was definitely not disappointed. My instincts also now tell me that if I want to talk about this issue I must tread carefully, because ordinary human beings in various positions of influence attempting to do the best they can to teach children how to be successful are present here, and a gentle, supportive and reflective yet bold and discerning response was greatly needed. I'm not sure I will make a basket here but this is important stuff, so it is definitely worth giving it some shots.

Follow up:

I must admit I don't know how to teach ethics and morals to children if I do not first teach them about the process of self evaluation and how to put their inevitably imperfect if not depraved humanity in a proper perspective. It frightens me that the Covenant School coach was ultimately fired, especially so quickly. I will not argue whether he should or should not have been fired. I am not in a position to make that decision, nor quite frankly do I envy the administration of the school, or those who were directly influenced by their leadership, who felt called to wrestle with that decision in response to a variety of external and internal feedback. But I must admit the decision concerns me greatly. The children of the winning team are not getting much airtime. Yet I wonder if the trauma they could suffer would be just as great in its own way, though less obvious, than the trauma of the losing team. To be on the cusp of adulthood, to look up to a coach who brought my high school team out of a losing streak, a coach who may be tough on me and driven by the thrill of the win yet a role model who I look up to nonetheless and then to see that coach get fired over one game...That would give me cause to wonder just what kind of "real world" I was about to get myself into.

The church I attended as a child had a very formal competitive sports program on par with high school varsity level playing, in appearances if not level of talent. We traveled to different places in our district to tournaments to compete with other churches. I was not a sports person but I really liked volleyball. Unfortunately for me our team was the best in the district, best of the A level players. I got about 10 minutes of playing time before being benched, and ultimately placed as captain of the B team. The church constantly preached that participation was of utmost importance yet they did not seem to be acting with integrity in the midst of the game. My parents talked and argued on the way home about whether this coach was being fair by keeping those who were no good on the sidelines while promising to be different than the world around them in that very regard. I didn’t care whether he wanted to play to win or not. It mattered to me most that he said participation was important and acted in an apparently direct contradiction. But I most certainly did not want the coach pulled from his position. I wanted him held accountable for his actions. I wanted him to consider and evaluate his actions and make adjustments according to his personal belief system. This is an ongoing process, not something that happens once and for all overnight. God help us all if that is what we require of our leadership. There would be no leaders left.

I hope we teach our children to be humble and teachable as well as honorable. I hope as educators we are concerned about striking a balance between the moral and ethical standards we set and the realistic mountains we expect our children to scale to meet up to those expectations. I would not want to be a young adult entering the business world, sitting in front of the boss for my first review session, knowing I had made mistakes, having seen firsthand how unforgiving the world could be, wondering when the ax will drop, instead of being able to spend the time in productive thinking, coming up with solutions to make my performance and the performance of my company better than it was yesterday.